My Life

Most of my life the only person I depended on was me, but even at times I would let myself down.

I have gone through my life thinking I never needed anyone, but I now realize that is far from the truth.

All I need now and all I will ever need is you!

Most of my life I would turn off all emotions, but a life without emotions is not a life at all.

I have gone through my life hiding from everyone, but with you there is no need to hide.

All I feel now and all I will ever feel is your love!

Most of my life I never thought I was good enough, but now I know there is no need to look down up on myself.

I have gone through my life thinking I did not deserve anyone, but you have shown me that is not true.

All I have and all I will ever have is you!

Most of my life I have dreamt of the day when I would find you, but now I mostly dream of our wedding day.

I have gone through my life wondering if I was going to die alone, but now I know I am going to grow old with you.

All I want and all I will ever want is your love!

I Can Not!

I can not help but think that I have pushed you away somehow.

Every time you try to get closer, I shut down a little more inside.

I can not change the way I was built so long ago.

Sometimes I feel I should end it all to spare you more pain.

I can not bring myself to tell you everything I feel inside.

Every night I pray to God to help me figure myself out.

I can not figure out how you can see inside me.

Some nights I am scared you will see too much of me.

I can not hide from you, as much as I feel I need to.

Every day I try to push myself into telling you how I'm feeling.

I can not understand why you are still with me.

Some days I ask myself, how do I deserve someone like you?

I can not hold in these feelings I have for you any longer.

Every moment I am with you, these words want to burst from my lips.

I can not ever love someone the way I love you!

Some moments with you are like living in a dream.

I can not live without you!

Ever Night

Every night I dream of your beautiful face

As I long to feel your sweet embrace.

Sometimes I can not believe that this is real.

It is so hard to trust these feelings that I feel.

Whenever I hear the sound of your sweet voice,

I know, for me, there is no other choice.

Everyday I long for that phone to ring

Because I long to hear the loving words it will bring.

Some days I sit and long for the day we can be together.

I know once that day comes, we will be inseparable forever.

Some nights when I lay alone, I swear I can feel you next to me,

But when I turn around, pure darkness is all I see.

Every night I thank God that I found you,

And pray that you can feel my love so true.

Real

I took a bath today

To try to clear my mind of you

But instead I just laid there

Staring at the wall thinking, wondering....

Why didn't I show you

How do I tell you

These feelings that I feel

When I see you, I shy away

When I'm around you, I look away

Because I don't want to see you judge me,

I don't want to feel the rejection

I just stand there,

Staring at the ground wondering, thinking....

Why didn't you tell me

How do you show me

These feelings that you feel

When you see me, you run away

When you're around me, you hide away

Because you don't want to see the truth

You don't want to feel the true you

You just stand there

Staring at me thinking, wondering....

Why didn't I show her

How do I tell her

These feelings that I feel

When you run from me, I cry away

When you hide from me, I fall away

Because I don't want to see you anymore

I don't want to feel the pain

I took a razor blade today

To try to clear myself from you

But instead I just sat there

Staring at your picture wondering, thinking....

Why do I only tell myself

How didn't I show you myself

These feelings that I feel

When I see you, I hug away

When I'm around you, I love away

Because you don't want to see me hurt

You don't want to feel that pain

I just held you there

Staring at your eyes thinking, wondering

Why didn't I show you before

How do I tell you now

These feelings that you feel

ARE REAL!

The Voice

This is more like a song than a poem. I had the song "Freak on a Leash" by Korn stuck in my head the day I wrote this. So, if you kinda sing the words they flow a lot better.


You are the voice inside my head.

Some days I can barely hear you there.

Some days you scream so loud it hurts.

I try so hard to live this life,

The way I think you want me to.

Sometimes its hard to break through this,

Pain and guilt I feel inside.

Why is it so hard to say these words,

"I'm sorry for all the things I did"

I never meant to hurt anyone but,

I am the only one to blame.

The cut marks on my skin,

Never matched the pain I felt inside.

With every pill I popped that day,

Never made the screams go away.

You are the voice inside my head.

Some days I can barely hear you there.

Some days you scream so loud it hurts.

Why can't I live up to your name.

You gave me this life but,

I just wasted it.

For years I waited for my last breath

But each day I would wake again.

What do you want me to do now.

I think I'm too scared to move on.

I hate the way I feel inside,

But there is no way I can't survive.

You are the voice inside my head.

Some days I can barely hear you there.

Some days you scream so loud it hurts.

I know now why you stay with me.

To help me make it through another day.

This pain will never go away

But now I am not afraid.

I can beat these fears of mine.

With only you on my side.

It's time to say good bye

To the blood stained razorblade.

You are the voice inside my head.

Some days I hear you loud and clear.

Some days I speak all by myself.

Sea Otters-My favorite animal!

Imagine that you are fishing on the coast of the United States or Canada. You see a large brown and tan spot in the Pacific Ocean. It is coming closer and closer. You’re scared about what it could be. You’ve never seen anything like it. You snap a picture of it so you can ask someone to identify what it is. Someone tells you it is a sea otter. Next, you decide to look up information on sea otters.

Life Cycle of a Sea Otter

The majority of sea otter pups are born in early spring. Newborn sea otters range in weight from 3 to 5 lbs. Sea otter pups are typically born in the water. After a few weeks, young sea otters can be found swimming, diving, grooming themselves, and also beginning to eat solid foods. Young sea otters are very curious and play in a rough way. Between five and eight months of age, sea otters leave their mother to make it on their own.

Characteristics

Sea otters have a small, round head, closeable nostrils, ears with flaps, and small eyes that are good for seeing in and out of the water. The nostrils and the ears close while underwater so that no water gets into them.

Southern sea otters are about 4 feet long including their 12-inch tails. Northern sea otters tend to be a little larger. Male sea otters are usually about 65 lbs. and females are about 20 lbs. less than males.

Sea otters have the thickest fur of all mammals. Sea otter fur contains two layers, an undercoat and long guard hairs on top. These two layers have air trapped between them to keep in warmth. Sea otter fur is usually a brown to a black color. Sometimes the guard hairs can be a light tan color.

Sea otters have front paws shaped like mittens. Although their front paws are covered with fur, they have rough pads and claws to hold their prey better. Like cat claws, sea otters’ claws can be pulled back into their paws. The front paws of a sea otter are very different from the paws on the hind legs. The paws on a sea otter’s hind feet are webbed. This helps the sea otter swim faster.

Otter Communication

Otters make several different sounds to communicate. A baby sea otter will cry when it is left alone. It makes a shrill "wee" sound like a sea gull. Otters will whistle or whine when upset or frustrated. Hissing or growling warns predators to back off. The mother sea otters will "coo" when they are grooming their baby’s fur with their teeth or claws. They will make a grunting sound when they are happy, such as enjoying a tasty snack.

Sea otters also communicate by body language. Moving their heads from side to side is like saying hello. The babies cling to their mothers or other sea otters when they are afraid.

Sea Otter Family

Sea otters are mammals like you and me. Like all mammals, they are warm blooded. Their babies are born alive and the babies feed from their mothers’ milk. The group of mammals that the sea otter are included in is called the Mustelidea family. This group includes badgers, weasels, minks, pine martens, and skunks.

Eating

Sea otters have a unique way of eating. They use their stomachs as a table by placing all their food on it. When sea otters bring up hard shells with prey inside, they also bring up a big piece of rock. They then bang the hard shell on the rock until it opens enough so they can eat what is inside.

Sea otters eat clams, snails, abalone, crabs, starfish, mussels, scallops, squid, chitons, small octopuses, sea urchins, prawns, sea cucumbers, limpets, marine worms, several types of fish, and a variety of other things. Sea otters eat about 160 different types of food.

Most of the time sea otters eat at the surface. When they come across a fast moving fish, they will swallow the fish underwater. Sea otters use loose folds of skin as shopping bags. For example, a sea otter could tuck scallops, sea urchins, crabs, or other edibles under its arm. Scallops are two shells put together with an animal inside. When sea otters eat starfish, they bite off the tips of their legs, so they can then suck out the soft parts.

Sea otters live in cold water, which makes it hard for them to keep warm. Sea otters have to eat at least 25% of their body weight each day. This is to keep a stable body temperature because they do not have a layer of blubber. For example, if an otter weighed 55 pounds it would have to eat 13.75 pounds a day. Each day, sea otters need to eat every three hours.

Where Sea Otters Live

Sea otters today live in these places: the Kuril Islands, Kamchatka, the Commander Islands, the Aleutian Islands, British Colombia, Vancouver Island, and Point Sur, California. Sea otters no longer live off the coast of Mexico, the Pribilof Islands, and Hokkaido. This is because a long time ago too many people killed the sea otters and used the valuable thick sea otter fur for trading.

The population of sea otters in British Colombia is increasing by 17% - 20% each year. This is due to environmentalists moving some of the population from the Aleutian Islands to British Columbia. This was decided because the population in the Aleutian Islands is decreasing rapidly. The reason for this may be because of a decline in pinnipeds. Killer whales usually prey on pinnipeds. The pinniped population is decreasing, because of lack of food and global warming, so the killer whales now seem to be eating sea otters instead of pinnipeds.

Oil Spills

Sea otter fur can become covered with oil when tanker spills occur. This makes grooming for the sea otter extremely difficult. This can kill the sea otter because if they cannot groom themselves, the air trapped between the two layers of skin will not be pushed next to their undercoat. This will result in the air not holding in heat for the otter’s body.

Another problem with oil getting trapped in their fur is the sea otter could swallow the oil, which is poisonous, while they are grooming. Also eating an animal that has touched oil could cause damage to the sea otters’ kidneys, eyes, lungs, and liver.

Between 3,500 and 5,500 sea otters have died because of oil spills. All around the world 350 million gallons of oil gets dumped into storm drains, waterways and soil each year. This is 30 times greater than the largest oil tanker spill. Some ways we can help this problem are:

	Use vegetable or fruit based detergents (rather than oil based detergents) around the house.
	Instead of using plastic and Styrofoam packages use paper packages.
	Carpool, use a bike, or use public transportation when possible so you don’t use as much oil.
	Do not throw away plastic containers (which are made with oil) that you can reuse and refill.
	Get rid of hazardous waste by finding out from your local waste management authority how to dispose of it.
	Remember to do these things in your everyday activities.

The BitterSweet Taste of Blood

I feel your teeth tear my flesh.

My warm blood runs down my neck.

I have lost all control of my body.

The images of a past I have never lived runs through my mind.

Your past

Your life

Your body

Is what I beg for.

I feel your warm breath upon my skin.

Your cold hands caress my entire body.

I try to scream buy no sound emerges.

The pain that you bring upon me becomes my pleasure.

Your touch

Your bite

Your blood

Is what I demand.

I feel you pulsating inside my body.

My warm veins suddenly become cold.

I begin to feel my past life slip away from me.

The feeling starts to frighten me but you hold on tight.

Your embrace

Your kiss

Your love

Is what I ask for.

I feel death taking over my body.

Your blood is now a part of me.

I invision a new life by your side.

The dream of you I had when I was a child is now a reality.

My life

My future

My fantasy

Is what you gave me.

I feel the need to feed arising within me.

My body starts to shake.

I ask you teach me the night life.

The life of a vampire, because that is what I now am.